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The series was co-written by and starred Vaughan as Paul Clarke, a fast-talking mini-cab driver and cocky small-time crook who likes to think of himself as a criminal mastermind. With an almost pathological compulsion to lie and a dangerous habit of boasting about his scams and heavy criminal acquaintances, Clarke's motor-mouth frequently lands him in trouble with both sides of the law. This is often exacerbated by the actions of his over-aggressive and under-intelligent best mate Sean. The show is based in Acton, West London, where Paul lives with his mother Di, his mixed-race sister Shiv and her constantly stoned boyfriend Lee. He and Sean spend much of their time down the pub, which is run by Tim – a deceptively well spoken ex-serviceman with a history of violence. The series suffered from many flaws, not least Johnny Vaughan's unconvincing turn as the shell-suited wide-boy Paul, which took centre stage whilst supporting characters were left under-developed and languishing in the background. In addition, the characters were all so "orrible" themselves, that no one cared what happened to any of them. Despite being an adult comedy in terms of the use of bad language, the odd spot of violence and depictions of drug abuse, the writing was anything but mature – with clumsy unbelievable storylines and unoriginal stilted humour. The show was panned by critics and had low ratings. It ran for one series.

Rated with 10/10 by 1 users
Episode Description

1

The driver

Paul Clark does a spot of driving for local crime boss Mervyn Rees. The promise of a 'drink' leads him to believe that it won't be long before he has his foot on the first rung of the criminal ladder. His joy doesn't last, however, when he is made to realise the consequences of his 'spot of driving' and he must act quickly to avert impending doom.

2

No sleep 'til Wembley

Paul has promised Calvin tickets for the FA Cup final. He is not having a lot of luck until Sean pulls him into a spot of debt collecting: rather than money, tickets fall into his lap. Naturally, he is loathe to keep quiet about this and soon he is coralled into getting tickets for Gary 'The Hitman' Whitman.

3

Enter the garage

Paul is looking forward to a weekend taking care of an empty warehouse (one of Di's repossessions). Noel is giving it large about his club night - Enter the Garage - held at a secret venue. Things don't work out quite as planned for either of them.

4

May the best man win

Paul is in love with Jan, a ‘legal secretary.’ One night in the pub, he warns Sean that he, too, should be looking for love otherwise where’s he going to end up? Sitting at the bar doing the daily crossword with a bunch of middle aged single men, that’s where. Luckily, Sean finds salvation in the shape of a Latvian nurse, Vajanya. Cue bouncers on a stag night, a gospel wedding and some unforeseen revelations.

5

Dog locked

Paul is furious with Sean after he has ruined yet another date with the lovely Tamsin. Sean offers an olive branch, inviting Paul to use Sean's uncle's country mansion for a romantic weekend with Tamsin. Everything looks sweet at the mansion until an untimely answer in Trivial Pursuit triggers the three Rottweiler guard dogs into ‘attack mode.’ Cornered in a small shower room, with the dogs prowling outside and Tamsin arriving in 24 hours, the boys must draw on their considerable resources to get out of this one...

6

Two men and a bastard

Sean's son Ryan, whom he last saw in a hospital incubator, is coming to spend his twelfth birthday with his dad and Godfather, Paul. Paul agrees to drop off some party decorations and toys with Viv, wife of legendary armed robber Billy Marks. Billy is out on home leave and Viv is throwing him a surprise party. Unfortunately Billy's four years in jail have left him paranoid about his wife's loyalty and when he hears 'Uncle Paul' has been dropping off presents for his kids, he reacts badly. Meanwhile Ryan is not the little angel everyone is expecting...

7

Dirty dozen

Paul has a dream that Sean is holding him back. Di, sick of Paul treating the house like a hotel, gives him an ultimatum: start paying your way or get out. Salvation arrives in the form of an ebullient Sean, with news of a 'lovely bit of work.' Paul is made up until he realizes that this 'lovely bit of work' involves the picking and delivery of twelve second hand urinals to Roger Flint, a local scrap merchant. He takes the job but is forced to deposit the urinals in a canal when things get messy. The next morning things look up when Paul takes a call from Flint, informing that the urinals are, in fact, worth quite a bit of money. He retrieves the urinals with the help of Lee, sells them onto Flint and ends up looking at a handsome profit. Things are looking up, until a body appears in the canal and Paul finds himself in the frame...

8

New best friend

Paul gets out of prison to discover that Lee's mother has commandeered his bedroom, the policeman who arrested him has moved into Di's bed while Sean is working for his hated rival Reuben, residing in a penthouse apartment with high class prostitutes on tap and driving a top of the range BMW. Paul ends up in the pub - he talks to Tim about his bad luck, blaming whoever dumped Ronnie Bryant's body in the canal for the whole, sorry mess. On the way home he is kidnapped and driven to a remote field where he discovers, to his horror, that it is Ronnie Bryant's killer who has swagged him. The assassin informs Paul that he has two choices : thirty grand in cash and leave Acton forever, or his 'old life' back. Paul returns to the pub where the Annual Karaoke Challenge is in full swing. He discovers that Lee's mother is living and working in the pub, DI Dodds has left Di, Reuben has put his hands up for the gear, and that Tim is the mystery assassin. He sings 'Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong' as a karaoke tune, joined by the newly freed Sean. Together they re-enact the famous Richard Gere/Debra Winger last scene from 'AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN'.